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How to do Sex Work From Home as a Single Parent in the Middle of a Pandemic.




Whoam I kidding? I have no gem of advice on how to do any of this. Being a dominatrix who is working from home while my 10 yr old is also at home in a zoom meeting talking to teachers and classmates is one of the quickest ways to stunt one's sexual creativity. I'm lucky enough to have a two floor Condo in the city and my office is tucked away in the basement. My son has a burner phone he can use to text me or call since he's not allowed downstairs at all while I'm working. But still I get random texts like:

"Hey mom, its really important." 

So, I pop upstairs. 

"Hey do you know what a frill shark is?! Its crazy looking!! Look at this!" 

I trying not to stifle his excitement about learning about frill sharks. I entertain him because really, I love having the opportunity to spend time with him. Then he needs a snack. Then he needs a snuggle. Then he wants to talk about throwing over the government and what a successful communist society might look like here in America. Next thing I know, an hour has gone by and I've accomplished nothing. This has led me to working as little as humanly possible. Which is fine, although I have financial goals I'd like to meet. For instance, making sure I don't end up in crippling school debt by the time I can finally practice and get my clinicals out of the way, or paying the already mounting medical bills from my brain being stupid. So for now, we're pretty bare bones and its chill. I'd rather have that time with my kid and focus on school to be honest.

Before I was working as a dominatrix full time, I was a nanny for 16 years. I worked for very well to do families that had demanding schedules. I was like a high end super nanny with an immense amount of background in everything having to do with infant and toddler development.  I spent Monday through Friday working at least 10 hour days. And because I wholly financially support my child without assistance from his father or anyone for that matter, I also had a second job driving uber and usually drove a full 10 hours on Saturday or Sunday. On top of that, I was working in the dungeon when I could, and I take a full class schedule. Me spending time with my kid was taking him to Mc Donald's play tubes, which I so lovingly refered to as the 7th circle of hell, and letting him run around while I ignored him. I would try to cram in as much homework as I could given the fact that I was surrounded by 20 small screaming children. 

When he wasn't with me, he was at his dad's every other weekend or in a before/aftercare program. Sometimes I even had to leave him home alone because I literally had no choice. All of that was really difficult and then toss into the mix a cocktail of mental health challenges. It was exhausting. There were days I literally wanted to  kill myself because of the guilt of not being with my kid. There were days where I had actually written letters to my son apologizing and explaining why mommy couldn't take care of him and that it was too much. Luckily, I have an AMAZING psychologist who was able to support me through some of the toughest years of my life and kept me focused.

Now here I am, and I can realistically work a 20 hour week or less and make far more than I did before working 3 jobs. Sex worker mom is a MUCH better mom than spread too thin mom who was depressed and anxiety ridden. So now that I am home with him, I take every chance I have to be with my baby. Also (I'll dive into this another time) but I struggle with an undiagnosed chronic neurological condition that makes it difficult for me to commit to my work as much as I'd like to. Still, I need to adapt and learn to be functional even when I don't feel well. Its a slippery slope. I NEED to start focusing on my work more. 

 I look at the other people in the industry and am in awe of the amazing work they do. I quite honestly hate all the fru fru dress up photo shoots, makeup, social media posting, and content creating shit. That's why really I only do custom work now. I fully acknowledge that's part of the job, but right now making sure my bills are paid is my main priority. I have that down, so I'm more relaxed about keeping up with marketing. But every day gets easier and I'm learning to cope with and navigate the different challenges I'm faced with.

For now, I just take a deep breath and know whatever I'm doing in whatever capacity I'm doing it in, is enough. Even if I'm blatantly lying to myself. I like the false sense of security. 


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